


In The Morning You'll Begin To See The Light

by lynnearlington



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-19
Updated: 2010-04-19
Packaged: 2017-10-20 13:37:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnearlington/pseuds/lynnearlington
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana sleeps with Finn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Morning You'll Begin To See The Light

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Hell-O.

When Santana sleeps with Finn, it's not for reasons people thinks. Well, okay, it is for reasons people think, like she  _is_  the evil minion of Sue Sylvester hell bent on completely destroying Rachel Berry, but that's not why she does it alone, because Coach Sylvester definitely sent both of them.

Taking him out on a date didn't work, and eventually trying to get Rachel hooked on that Vocal Adrenaline douche didn't work either. So Coach implemented her next plan. Steal Frankenteen's virginity.

She tells them both the plan, sitting in their usual spots in her office, but Brittany just stares at Santana the whole time. Which is how it usually is. Brittany, waiting for Santana to give her cues like  _don't listen to her_  or  _don't worry, I've got this covered,_  and Santana nodding for both of them. They leave after promising to ask Finn on another date and to seal the deal this time.

"I don't want us to sleep with Finn," Brittany whispers when they're out of hearing range of Coach Slyvester's office. "He's cute, but...I don't want us to sleep with Finn," she repeats.

"Don't worry about it, Britt," she says, linking her arm through the other girl's. "I've got this covered."

Brittany looks like she's not really sure what Santana means this time, but she smiles brightly after a bit and kisses Santana on the cheek.

Sometimes, Santana really hates how much faith Brittany has in her.

\--

Santana really only has three priorities in life: protecting her top dog status at William McKinley, getting the hell out of Lima, and Brittany. Not necessarily in that order. Keeping Coach Slyvester happy with both of them is essential to these three things, so she knows she has to sleep with Finn, because Brittany sure as hell won't be doing it. And there's no way  _Finn Hudson_  is getting his big boy hands anywhere near her best friend.

She does it on a Tuesday. No date or preamble, just shows up at Finn's house and attacks him in his bedroom. He tries to object at first, but honestly, no one refuses Santana Lopez. She's got moves. It's early in the afternoon when it's done and as she's leaving she almost drives to Brittany's house before stopping herself.

It feels wrong and dirty and not for the first time, her heart breaks, when she thinks about how  _bad_  she is for Brittany. If she was a better person, less selfish, she'd do the right thing, convince Brittany that this whole  _thing_  between them, is just a high school fling. She'd break it off so that Brittany could go find someone else, someone nicer, better, who wouldn't say "I love you" at night and then sleep with another guy the next day.

She doesn't do any of that though, because Santana Lopez is a lot of things, but a good person isn't one of them.

She doesn't go to Brittany's house that night at all and thinks that one good deed is better than none.

\-- 

By Friday, Santana remembers that Brittany might not be great at a lot of things but she  _is_  great at figuring out when something's wrong. She reads Santana like a book. Well, like a picture book about ducks that is really easy to read. Anyway, she knows Santana, which makes hiding things from her next to impossible.

"S, you okay?" She asks on their drive home.

"Yeah, why?"

"You've been avoiding me," her friend whispers, hurt soaking through her tone.

"No I haven't," she denies uselessly. "I've been with you every single day."

Brittany blinks. "Yeah, but not really."

"What does that even mean."

"Did I do something wrong?"

Santana feels like her chest is cracking because Brittany shouldn't feel like she did anything wrong,  _she_  did and she's punishing the other girl for it. She hates it, hates the hurt look all over her friend's face, and the memory of Finn's lips on her neck when they should have been Brittany's. Hates that she knows if Brittany found out, it would probably break them. After Puck, then the "sex is not dating" incident that followed and her ridiculous  _I'll-sleep-with-Matt-to-prove-I'm-not-gay_  reaction, they sort of made a pact, no more sleeping with other people. Which was really only a rule for Santana because Brittany is like a faithful puppy. A faithful puppy that Santana couldn't seem to stop kicking.

"Of course not, babe," she says, tangling their fingers together over the gearshift. "I'm just tired."

\--

On Saturday, she almost tells her.

"Britt, there's something I have to tell you," she starts.

Brittany looks up at her from her position on Santana's bed. She's lying there flipping through a magazine, still in the t-shirt and shorts she wore to bed the night before, her hair in complete disarray and it takes a minute for Santana to get over how  _fucking gorgeous_  she thinks her best friend is.

"What?" Brittany finally asks when Santana doesn't continue.

"What?"

"What did you have to tell me?"

"Huh? Oh," but Santana doesn't want to say the words anymore. Not when Brittany has that tiny smile on her face and those big blue eyes and she's in Santana's bed looking like she belongs there. Any thoughts of coming clean go right out the window. "Nevermind," she says, instead of the truth.

She walks over to the bed and presses their lips together, rolling on top of the other girl until their legs are tangled and you can't tell where one girl ends and the other begins.

Later that night, when Brittany whispers "I love you," into Santana's ear, she's never felt worse in her life.

\--

Brittany finds out on Monday.

Well, more accurately, Finn tells Rachel.

To Coach Slyvester's credit, the plan works flawlessly. Rachel has a complete a total diva spat in the hallways at Finn, yelling at him for meaninglessly throwing his virginity away and ruining any chances at their perfect relationship. It's loud and dramatic and Rachel looks completely destroyed, tears running down her face.

The only problem is that Brittany is in the hallway, uncharacteristically alone, when it happens. And Rachel describes Finn's sins in detail.

\--

Santana realizes Brittany's avoiding her by lunch and by the time school is out she's pretty worried.

When Brittany doesn't even look at her during Glee practice she barely knows what to do with herself.

Santana's walking to her car when she sees her standing in front of school, arms pulled tight across her chest and the most forlorn expression she's ever seen. It looks so out of place on Brittany's face that she can't help but want to reach out, it's instinct.

"Hey, Britt. You ready to go?" She asks. They've ridden home together every single day since Santana got her license so when Brittany just sort of shrugs in response and doesn't look at her, Santana doesn't really know what to do.

"Are you going to stand out here forever?"

"I'm waiting for my ride."

"I  _am_  your ride," she says, trying and failing to suppress a chuckle.

This time, Brittany does acknowledge her. "Not anymore," she retorts.

"Shit, Britt, what's wrong?" But she's pretty sure she knows exactly what's wrong. She heard about Berry's public meltdown she just hoped Brittany was nowhere near the hallway when it happened. They would have been together had Santana not needed to check in with Coach, but she couldn't really bring Brittany to that meeting.

"Don't swear," the blonde girl says, brow furrowing.

Santana rolls her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You slept with Finn."

Even though she knows it was coming she can't come up with anything brilliant to say. Apologies would probably be a good start, or denials. It's an opportunity too. An opportunity to teach Brittany what a  _bastard_  she is, to teach her that at the end of the day this is who she was and that's not going to change.

But she can't do either so she just stands there as her friend walks away.

\--

She wants to leave Brittany alone, wants to accept that she knew it would eventually come to this, her fucking up and Brittany leaving, for the better.

So they don't talk for a week.

Santana's never felt more broken.

\--

The cold war ends the following Sunday.

Santana should probably feel happy that she's talking to her best friend again but when Brittany shows up on her doorstep with a hangdog expression like  _Brittany_  was the one that fucked up, she wants to punch herself in the teeth.

"Britt," she starts, but her friend interrupts.

"Can we just be best friends again," she pleads.

Santana never really learned how to say no to Brittany.

\--

They don't talk about the Finn thing. Not at all. Not even during awkward moments in Glee when Finn kind of looks at her weird or Manhands glares. Even Kurt looks like he wants to poke her eyes out with a stiletto.

They don't even talk about it when Santana tries to kiss her for the first time in weeks and Brittany doesn't let her.

It isn't planned or anything, just instinct. It's a Tuesday night and they're sitting on the floor of Santana's room, attempting to do homework while some ridiculous song Brittany is in love with this week plays out of Santana's iPod across the room.

"Can you hand me that eraser?" She asks, pointing to the one by Brittany's leg.

The blonde girl grabs it and passes it over, turning her head to the side as does it. They pause for a moment when their hands touch, eyes locked and Santana realizes just how close their heads are, that if she leans forward an inch, they'd be kissing.

So she does.

Brittany turns her head at the last second.

\--

Santana had told Brittany that getting too close to the glee kids was going to blow their social capital out of the water but when she sees her friend hanging out with Kurt and Mercedes one morning she realizes the message didn't really get through. Brittany loves everyone, she can't help it.

Regardless, it's somehow become Santana's  _freakin' mission in life_  to make sure Brittany doesn't get hurt by the ridiculousness of the high school social caste system so she grabs Brittany's wrist and tugs her away from the other two.

"Santana," she says accusingly, tugging her wrist away. "I was talking to them."

She pulls the blond around a corner. "Britt, you have to watch it, Karofsky has been on a warpath this week and you're practically asking to get one in the face."

"I'll be fine," she replies a hardness around her eyes that Santana's never seen before. Brittany spins on her heel and walks straight back to Kurt's locker, an apologetic smile on her face.

\--

It happens on a Tuesday and seriously, Santana's beginning to  _hate_  Tuesdays. Brittany's standing at her locker, shuffling her books around when Santana arrives at the other end of the hall. If she hadn't stopped on their way into school to drop something off in the locker room she'd be right next to Brittany right now and the whole thing wouldn't have happened.

She sees Dave Karofsky on the opposite end of the hallway, Big Gulp in his hand, and a look of glee on his face when he spots Brittany. Probably because she's alone.

It happens in that ridiculous slow motion that Santana's only ever seen in the movies, but it's like her feet can't move fast enough as she bolts down the hall towards her friend.

The cherry crystals hit Brittany in the face before she can get there.

Karofsky guffaws, "matches the uniform."

Santana skids to a halt as he says it and just reacts, not thinking about what she's doing as her arm pulls back and hits him square in the face. For a tiny cheerleader, Santana can punch. Karofsky grabs his nose as blood starts to gush out and she thinks he tries to curse but Santana doesn't wait, she just keeps wailing on him, and doesn't let up, just keeps punching and kicking.

When he falls to the ground she keeps attacking him, letting out all the rage and frustration that's been building up inside her ever since she slept with stupid Finn Hudson and everything stable in her life crumbled. "Don't ever touch her again," she growls in between punches.

A crowd has gathered, all of them pretty shocked to see Dave Karofsky getting the shit kicked out of him by a girl. Then again, she's Santana Lopez. They're really only marginally surprised.

Mr. Schuester eventually sees what's happening and attempts to break it up, but it's Brittany that gets her to stop.

Brittany, who's still wiping red slushie out of her eyes, but whispers "Santana, stop it."

And she does. She halts in mid-punch to look back at her friend and just steps away. It's funny how everyone thinks Santana is the puppet master when really, Brittany holds all the strings.

Brittany walks away then and the crowd parts to allow her passage. Santana just watches in silence, her feet frozen and the throbbing in her knuckles getting harder to ignore. She glances at Karofsky, still writhing in pain on the floor and then at Mr. Schuester who looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"Suspend me later," she says, flipping her hair and walking after her best friend.

\--

Brittany's in the third floor bathroom when Santana finds her, washing the last of the slushie out of her hair.

"Hey," she says softly, not really knowing what to do. "You okay?"

Brittany looks over to her and then down at Santana's hands, bleeding and bruising from the beating she just delivered. Brittany kind of rolls her eyes, but she looks more adorable than annoyed because well, she's Brittany. The blond reaches down and grabs one of her hands, turning the knob on the faucet with her other to start the warm water.

Brittany starts to wipe the blood off her hands softly, running a towel under the water ever so often before she finally speaks. "They'll suspend you."

"I know," but she doesn't care. She'd do it again in a heartbeat. No one touches Brittany. People need to fucking understand this.

Brittany looks up and their eyes meet for a long moment, their hands still clasped together under the rush of warm water. "You have to stop trying to protect me like this."

"I can't."

Brittany squeezes her hand and it hurts for a moment but Brittany's touching her and it feels so good that she'd never ask her to stop. "Yes you can."

Santana shakes her head. "I'm sorry. About Finn."

"You were protecting me then too."

Santana nods. Swallows hard.

"I want to tell people." Brittany's voice is soft but firm, but she looks away as she says it. "About us. About the kissing. And the sex and stuff."

"We can't," Santana says, eyes wide.

"If we tell Coach she'll stop using us like that. If we tell people you won't have to kiss Puck in the hallways and I won't have to hold Mike's hand in glee."

"It will be the end of us." And it's Santana's worst fear really. Falling from social grace, never getting the hell out of Lima, getting Brittany stuck here too. She watched it happen to Quinn Fabray, queen of WMHS, no way in hell it was happening to them.

Brittany's voice rose and she let go of Santana's hands, bringing them up to cup the girl's face. "That could never happen," she said with conviction. "Never. We're Santana and Brittany."

Santana laughs a little, but tears start to well up in the rims of her eyes which is ridiculous. Because Santana Lopez does  _not_  cry.

She nods and swallows against the tears, bring her hand up to flick a red crystal Brittany missed, out of her hair. "Plus," Brittany continues. "I don't think Karofsky is going to try and slushie anyone anytime soon."

Santana smiles. "No," she agrees.

They stare at each other for long moments as if it's the first chance in weeks they've really had to just look at each other and Brittany's hands leave Santana's face to rest on her shoulders, the tips of her fingers reaching back to play with the hair at the nape of her neck.

"I love you," Santana intones, and its the first time she's said it in a month. It lights up Brittany's whole face and her blue eyes get so much bluer before she leans down and presses their lips together. She tastes like cinnamon and cherry and in between kisses and affection Brittany murmurs the words back against her lips.

In that moment, in the girl's bathroom, cherry slushie and blood all around them, Santana feels ten feet tall, like she could take on fifteen Dave Karofskys without breaking a sweat and she wonders why she ever thought anything could defeat them. She's Santana fucking Lopez. And she has Brittany.

\--

They tell people later that day.

Brittany makes a whole announcement in front of glee with Santana standing next to her, glaring at everyone, her broken fists clenching threateningly.

\--

Santana gets suspended for a week which is kind of a blessing because she doesn't have to deal with school and people and gossip, but it's also driving her nuts because Brittany's there, alone.

Brittany comes over everyday though, bright smile on her face and smothers the other girl in happiness and hugs. It quenches the fear that churns in Santana's guts for the day and she goes to sleep with a grin on her face.

\--

She comes back to school the following Tuesday,  _of course_ , and she walks in arm-in-arm with Brittany. As the walk through the front doors, the blond untangles their arms and brings her hand down to clasp Santana's.

She's nervous and it must be obvious to Brittany but she's trying not to show it. Her scowl is firmly in place on her face and her walk is definitely her  _do-not-fuck-with-me_  swagger, but her friend, her  _girlfriend_ , knows her too well.

As they turn the corner to their lockers Santana tenses up because now she has to actually see people and she's holding Brittany's hand in a way that's more gay than friendly,but the blond just squeezes their hands together and whispers in her ear. "It's going to be okay. I love you."

And they think Santana is the strong one.


End file.
